Die Winter Die

Dead Snowman

Last week, I was vacationing on the southern shore of Jamaica.  It was a dream come true, and something my wife and I had been looking forward to for a long time.  Sandy beaches, warm ocean waves, and a healthy mix of frosty alcoholic beverages served at a swim-up bar made for an unforgettable adventure.  We were disappointed that our trip came at a time when winter had already melted away, and we joked about how funny it would be if Kingston was hit hard with flurries while we were far from our shovels.  We landed back in Kingston on Sunday evening, and were immediately hit with slightly colder temperatures than those we’d come to enjoy.  Then came the news that we should expect rain for the next few days, which was certainly acceptable considering it is Spring.  Today we woke to something a bit less pleasant, as snow seems to have found it’s way back to our fair city.

The thin layer of white stuff was not substantial enough to stick to roads and sidewalks, however it did cover all the new growth in our garden.  Although I’m not about to go outside with a hair dryer and thaw everything out, the thought did cross my mind.  Enough is enough.  Old Man Winter, if you’re reading this, please accept this as your formal eviction notice on behalf of all of Kingston.  You are not welcome here anymore.  Should you decide to rear your frigid, frosty face hear before Christmas Day, I promise to personally venture out and mame each and everyone of your snowmen and women.  It’s not that we don’t enjoy skating and skiing on all your glorious creations, but we’re overdue for outdoor BBQs, short shorts, and days where we can say “how about this heat”.

Thanks and photographic credit to dumbledad for his graphic image of a dead snowman.

Harvey Kirkpatrick

Harvey Kirkpatrick is Kingstonist's Co-Founder. His features curiously explore urban planning, what if scenarios, the local food scene and notable Kingstonians. Loves playing tourist and listening to rap music. Learn more about Harvey...

One thought on “Die Winter Die

  • This is your fault. You had to take a vacation. Kingston is punishing you by punishing all. … ah I don’t mean it. Not really…

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